Life is unfair but so what? It's been like that since forever. I can't have my cake and eat it too. Pathetic. But again, so what?

Perhaps walking away is for the best. I don't know why everytime I look at you, I grimace at the thoughts that goes through my mind. They are never good thoughts. Everytime I look at you, I get disheartened because everything has changed.

I just wish that we can get through this painful ordeal regardless of the results.

torn

Afraid and frightened - never felt that in awhile now. Confusion and complexity greeted me on my doorstep and I had let them in. Though relunctantly at first, but now, perhaps welcoming them has brought me to think about things which I could never bring myself to question it.

I am so lost and torn apart.

It's good to know I'll have your love whichever way the wind blows

I love you. It is utterly dumb not to. You are everything I ever wanted, and more. The sleepless nights when you're not by my side, you reside firmly in my mind's eye. I can never live without your embrace.

You mean the whole world to me.

No judgement day can ever tear us apart.

Missing the moments

I wish I could freeze time, then the moments wouldn't end so fast. Nothing seems important anymore than having to spend another minute more in the embrace of comfort. Even the sweetest dream could never compare to this moment. To be in your arms as I close my eyes, hearing your heart beating beneath your skin. Inhaling your empowering scent sends shivers down my spine, and I don't want to miss even one second of it. However, these moments flees as soon as they came, and I was left crying for more. It just isn't fair!

I know you care, but to what extend?

Justify

Sometimes I feel like my life is falling apart, but at the same time, I feel like because it's so full and completed, thus it cramps and breaks. Collapse without a warning. There was a time when I felt like something in me snapped and I collapse on my knees, completely broken and defiled. When I got up, I only had a smack in my face, telling me that everything I had done, was utterly useless. I believe I am stronger now, perhaps a little too strong. Emotions of love and of the kindred souls doesn't mean anything to me. I've become another person, cynical, sceptical, sadistic, heartless, loveless. I may feel a little for you, but all I felt whenever someone is next to me, is anger and rage. No, I don't hate. I don't curse people who are insigficant to me and I don't give a damn about them as well.

Love is meaningless to me, but I do care. I care a lot, perhaps more than you thought I would. I had been broken too many times to even comprehend the meaning of love anymore. Love for who? ... and love for what? I have learned the hard way to trust no one other than myself, so that no one is able to hurt me anymore. But it'll be nice to fall back on someone sometimes.

The Rasmus - Justify.

So close so far I'm lost in time
Ready to follow a sign
If there was only a sign
The last goodbye burns in my mind
Why did I leave you behind?
Guess it was too high to climb

Give me a reason
Why would you want me
To live and die
Living a lie
You were the answer
All that I needed
To justify, justify my life

Someone as beautiful as you
Could do much better it's true
That didn't matter to you
I tried so hard to be the one
Its something I couldn't do
Guess I was under the gun

Give me a reason
Why would you want me
To live and die
Living a lie
You were the answer
All that I needed
To justify, justify my life

It's only right
That I should go
And find myself
Before I go and ruin
Someone else

So close so far
I'm lost in time
Ready to follow a sign
If there was only a sign

Give me a reason
Why would you want me
To live and die
Living a lie
You were the answer
All that I needed
To justify, justify my life

It's only right
That I should go
And find myself
Before I go and ruin
Someone else