False Perception

Such a deceiving day. Doesn't portray any potential happenings. Deluded progressions. Makes me want to rip somebody's heart out.

Cute-nyer

Derek has been calling me cute recently. Everytime I do something weird, he calls me cute. Or when I do something stupid, he calls me cute. Or the time when I did something embarassing, and tried to cover it up, he calls me cute. When I said something dumb and ridiculously illigocal, he calls me cute. etc...

Maybe I am cute.

Label : Musing. Leave me alone.

A pimple on my right cheek that says "You're FUGLY!!"

Alright... It's been awhile. Carol is in the house, once again.

I've been missing for the past two weeks and believe me when I say it was indubitably HELL-ish!

Why, you ask?

First off, two weeks ago, I was at a 4 days conference in KLCC, it has drained the life out of me. The week before that, we had to prepare 500 sets of kit for the participants and it, again, drained the life out of me. So four days went passed, inclusive of two days straight arguing with Mr. President (Derek Lim) because I was cranky due to lack of hibernation. A pole was constantly stuck in my anal for some reason.

As the days roll by, and four days were over, I was back to my normal self again. Stoic.

Things were calm and everything was pretty peaceful. Until the next week, which was last week. We had another conference but this time it was held in PWTC that lasted 5 days. I'll admit it wasn't as boring as KLCC because we weren't confined to a booth but rather an open space area. We get to see many things, insignificant things too as there were other halls that were holding different conferences.

Bottom line is, PWTC was not AS boring AS KLCC. But boring nonetheless.

Today I should be having monday blues, but I was kind of enthusiastic to be in the office. After two weeks deprived of my cubicle, I finally feel somewhat at home. (I can't help it, my cubicle is my personal space from 9-6). I HAVE NO CHOICE!!!

Oh well, look at the bright side, paycheck day is tomorrow. I still have another day of cashless purse and bank account. I am serious. The balance in my bank account is less than 1o bucks. The past two weeks in KL has really sucked me into poverty. I.CAN'T. TAKE.IT.ANY.LONGER!!!! This sucks ass. (+_+)

My colleague is leaving. Tomorrow is his last day. Though he is the cutest, bubbliest Indian man I have ever seen. But his new office is in the next building, so meeting up for drinks would be easy.

I am smitten with Katy Perry - Thinking of You.

Vegeta is still the best.

Blogging is boring already.

I am currently working on four fictions at the same time. How great I am at that. Can't manage to finish it.

I just had a fulfilling lunch, I feel like puking now.

Derek woke up and PM-ed me.

DEREK : Hey baby, I'm awake.

ME : Hey baby, good afternoon. I am calculating my mileage claims.

DEREK : Baby don't let your brains burst ok? [grins]

ME : What the hell do you mean by that? My brain is not that small ok!

DEREK : .... ok

*speechless* (he was never that compliant)

ME : ... that was easy..

DEREK : what I say isn't always the truth you know.

ME : O_O... so what is the truth then?

DEREK : errr... it's ok. ha-ha-ha-ha..

ME : *sweat anime style* You can't think cus you just woke up right.. hahahaha

DEREK : OooOOoo.. -.-" ... baby so smart wan..

ME : Of cus. This just proves that my brain is not as small as you say it is. [smugness]

Alright, that was a random chat and it sounds funny in the end. I can't comprehend what I said even. It took me like 10 minutes to realise what I just wrote. I said 'my brain is not as small as you say it is'.. So... how small is my brain? @_@

Alright, I am confusing myself now. Derek has been calling me peanut brain for the past several years till I am somewhat believing him now. OOOooOOOO I hate him so!!!

Love Sick

Last week, Derek was sick. He was coughing roughly as if his lungs were burning. His body ached and his throat was sore. His system were so heated up, he could hardly move properly.

ME : Don't worry baby, I'll be taking care of you.

Over the weekends, Derek was haflway recovering and it was my turn to fall sick.

DEREK: Don't worry baby, it's my turn to take care of you.

Fuck Lim

Last night, while waiting for the arrival of some friends, Derek and I were hanging out, having our late dinner in a cafe in the midst of Sunway Pyramid. While somewhat enjoying our scrumptious pathetic meal, we started talking about what we will be naming our children. Well, I have come up with certain names such as;

Jared
Ethan
Don
Ivanka (girl)

Well, he didn't really like the names so I gave him an alphabet to start with. I gave him, 'F'.

So I took the head start.

ME: What about ~flower~ [grins]

Obviously I was joking.

ME: 'Falken'!

Ok, fine, I was joking as well.

DEREK: Fuck Lim!

I stared at him dumbfounded, absolutely speechless. Who the hell in the world would name their son 'Fuck Lim'?!

DEREK: Alot of people is gonna sin so as long as they call our son.

ME: The government would probably not even approve. Hell, even the computer system while registering for for his IC would be a great problem. Instead of FUCK LIM it'd be **** LIM. But hell, it's great publicity, and our son would curse us for the rest of his life.

DEREK: Just imagine. Dato' Sri Tan Sri Fuck Lim!

Hahaha, funny though, playing with our children's name. It's pathetic, I know. But we had a laugh. At least now we have something to tell our children about next time too.

HELP! I no faham Lu!

Some old man added me in Facebook.com and well, he doesn't look harmless for an old man so I've accepted him. Approximately 10 minutes later, I logged into Facebook again and there was a notification stating that the old man had wall-ed me.

Old Man : 妳是位乐观泒的马来西巫子民，很高兴能分享到妳的喜悦，祝福妳：有梦最美、希望相随。 张酔翁。

Me : Sorry. I do not understand mandarin.

(half an hour later)

Old Man : 对不起[Sorry]！妳不懂中文[You don't understand mandarin ]！但 - 我却不懂英文[ I do not understand english]，这是份遣憾 [??????????]。

Rrrrrrriiiiggghhhttt.. Way to go, Old Man. I discarded the conversation entirely after that, seeing that it was completely hopeless in trying to converse. After all, I have no clue as to who he was. Probably I should just delete him off my list. Hahaaaaks. But I feel sorry for him as he only had 9 fwens. Awwww~

You Love, You Learn.

Derek came to pick me up from the pool centre after having a draw game with a colleague of mine. I wasn't really satisfied as I had beaten my colleague flat with a score of 12-5 the previous week in another pool centre, compared to an 8 all last night. I think the place is cursed. Oh, well.

Anyway, Derek and I left the place and headed to the night market in SS2 to return and exchange a faulty CD we bought 3 weeks back. It was a busy place, filled with all kinds of people, and once again, I automatically transformed into a misanthrope. Seriously, being in close proximity with people is just not one of my many things. I despise being in the same place where I breathe in their intoxicated carbon dioxside and the sight of the disgusting muck and grime of the premise. In fact, my fingertips were all itchy and swollen with allergy at the end of the journey. Call me an OCD, I admit that I am. Invisible filth just put me on the edge.

After we left the night market, we headed to my house because Derek was sleeping over. We both admitted that we couldn't sleep properly the night before because we weren't together. I had nightmares and he couldn't sleep until 9am in the morning. How quaint.

On the way to my house, we had to stop at a traffic light. Listening to the new Akon CD which we've exchanged to, blasting the music in the car and enjoying the bass of the amps, we were oblivious to our surroundings. As we were bobbing our heads to the music, Derek's head bobbed to the right and he was looking nonchalantly at the vehicle next to him. It wasn't until he started bursting out in laughter that I've decided to turn the volume down low and asked him what the fuck was his problem.

Then I looked over him to see what had him to that kind of outburst, I started to laugh nervously and shook my head.

'What am I gonna do with him?' I asked myself.

There was a van which stopped next to our right. It was a van of a 'Rumah untuk Kanak-Kanak Spastik'.

Well, the only word that was presented upclose to Derek's face was the word 'Spastik', which explains the outburst. He said he was completely oblivious to the rest of the words except 'Spastik'.

As the lights turned green for the outer lane, which the van was on, the van took off to the right. Derek just had to shout after the damn van and points at me frantically, "EHHHH! Lu sudah lupa satu ni!!!!"

Which means, "EHHHH! You've forgotten one!!!!"

Seriously, I ought to bash him up, lock him up in a dungeon and throw away the key.

Anyway, we were a good five minutes drive away from my house. So we settled in pretty quickly. I took my shower, reheated the food for his royal ass-ness, turned on the blasted television for him to watch, and we ate in silence, engrossed with the tube.

It took me about fifteen minutes to finish my small plate of food and it was soon that I retire to my ever-so-comfy bed. Well, I couldn't fall asleep as I toss and turned, contemplating whether if I should go out there and drag that carcass of a Derek in to bed with me, but decided against it anyway as I was indubitably tired.

I guess I was entering REM sleep when I felt a heavy weight crushing on me. I tried to push the thing off of me but I couldn't budge an inch. It was then this thing atop me starts to fill my face with light, soft, slow and gentle kisses, from my forehead to my lips, my jaw, and down the crook of my neck. I remember giving a small smile as I inhale that ever so distinctive scent.

"Baby, I wan goodnight kiss..."

I took a deep breath and snapped my sleepy eyes as large as I could. I thought I was dreaming but when he asked me to kiss him back, OMG!

I held my breath as long as I could as I stared into the eyes of Derek, unable to fathom the fact that he actually put his whole weight on me as I slept. I kissed him back and rolled over but not before mumbling something incoherently, telling him to bugger off, but he spooned me from behind and hugged me tightly, pecking me gently at the nape of my neck and inhaling the scent of my hair. It wasn't long that I realised he had released his hold on me and has already turned to face the opposite direction, completely away from me.

But it was sweet and believe me, we both found it rather weird as we both fell asleep, just like that. Completely different from the night before where we found it extremely hard to have a good night's rest. I guess we both found the cure of insomnia in each other, or perhaps we're both just too boring for each other, we could fall asleep faster than usual.

Wilt and Die!

Tim is getting on my nerves and I hate him so much. I have never made it a secret of my hatred for him. It runs so deeply that sometimes I have the sudden urge of strangling him to death, chop his body into pieces, chop those pieces into littler pieces and then burn and cook it and feed it to the dogs, chop the dogs to little pieces and chop those dog pieces into littler dog pieces. I hope you get what I mean.

There is a list of why I hate Tim so much.

1 - He has delicious lamb or beef for dinner at random days, which I can resort to doing so but hearing him telling me he has them for dinner at a random evening just makes my blood boil and my mouth salivating, especially when I'm still in the office, craving for food.

2 - He makes fun of me in all different languages of the world. Spanish, French, German, Italian, etc.

3 - He talks about armpits and sex, associated with Cecilia. Disgusts me greatly.

4 - He says hi to me in armpits language.

5 - He still associates with dumb blondes act-alikes.

6 - I'm not his lunch partner anymore.

7 - He won't shaddup when I tell him to shaddup. Of course, he must have took it as voided because the spelling doesn't make up for the meaning. Dumb ass.

8 - He has a new Iphone even if its unreal.

9 - I just plain hate him.

10 - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Double, double, Toil and trouble.

Derek and I was bored out of our gourd the other day and seeing that it was a weekend, it was dull nonetheless. The day was scorching hot so we've decided to head to the bathroom, with clothes on, of course and splashed each other senseless with freezing ice cold water. It was, exhilirating and refreshing and relieving.. well you get the idea. After numerous splashes and giggles and crazy laughters, the heat in the confinement of the bathroom was getting to our heads. We were soaked and wet and no breeze was venturing into the hollow walls.

I was trying to peel off my heavy jeans that was sticking at every fiber of my legs, it was annoying. Then I saw something.

It was floating right it front of me. As I looked at it wide-eyed, I could see through it as it was transparent and it floated slowly and nonchalantly in front of my eyes. I reached my hands out to touch it but before I could even manage to lay a fingertip on it, it disappeared.


Seeing it popped, my faceful of smiles faltered into sadness. Derek was laughing manically, mocking my every existence for popping a bubble and getting upset over it. I was pissed, so we started a bubble feud. We had to blow the biggest bubble ever.

We had no idea who won because the bubbles just kept popping and we got tired after that whole ordeal. But it was a fun past-time although we had wrinkly hands and feet after that, for being in the bathroom for 2 whole hours. I had to apply a handful of lotion later to revitalize my skin all over.

Perfect gift?

I've finally received the parcel which I was supposed to pick it up from Pos Laju. Well, Derek picked it up for me and we were both anxious to find out what it was. After picking it up, I asked Derek to come over to my office so we could open it together. Well, HE opened it, not me. It was supposed to be my parcel. But what the heck, he was excited like a little puppy. Aww~

Anyway, it was sealed, of course. Derek tore the opening, but he only managed to peel a small piece off. His face faltered from the smiles and he looked hopelessly miserable. He gave me his puppy eyes, however bigger his eyes could possibly go. hahahaa

So I told him to peel it off slowly, and he tried the second time and succeeded in finally tearing open the damn thing.

Inside it was a black velvet box. It's surface was smooth and velvety which makes it irresistable to the touch.

Derek: Baby, you got diamond ring aww~

It can't be, could it? Well, of course not. Diamond rings doesn't come in a box half the size of a tissue box. So I shut him up impatiently, telling him that he's ridiculous.

As I opened the box, there was a black velvety miniature cushion sitting perfectly confined in the center of the box. Circling it was a shiny silver round watch attached to a black silk leather band. It was... ok only laa..

Well, it was a complimentary gift from UOB for using it's credit card with a single receipt purchase of minimum RM300. Now it got me thinking, did I spend that much?

Stupid Toyol

AMANDA: This is a funny one, and it isn't scary at all.. trust me. :)

Before I start, let me show you the placing of my room.


It was in the middle of the night, somewhere in between 3am and 4am. Derek and I were sound asleep, with the air conditioner full blast.

Then, it happened again.

I normally off all the lights when I hit the sack and it was no exception for this particular night. I normally sleep on the left side of the bed, next to the wardrobe while Derek sleeps on the right. Like I said, it was approximately 3ish in the morning when my eyes snapped open for no apparent reason. However, I didn't feel like I was really awake, but subconsciously awake. It was then I have concluded that I had fell victim to sleep paralysis for the countless of times throughout my whole life.

Back to the story.


See the blue mark? As I opened my eyes, I saw this black short, stunted figure pushing my chair away from the bed. It was running and I could see the wheels of the chair moving. It was like an illusion of some sort because the chair was in fact, wasn't really moving anywhere at all. It was at the same position as I had left it before I went to sleep and even when that thing was running away with it, the chair was actually still. So it ran and pushed and ran and pushed and ran and pushed and then it stopped!

The motherfucker turned around slowly and looked at me in the eyes. All I could do was lay still and look back, unable to move a single limb.


Then the fucker had to walked all the way to my side. Well, I think it floated rather than walked. As it stood still beside me upclose, I stared at him with the corner of my eyes. My breathing was ragged as I finally got a good look at it's face. It had black deep sockets for eyes and a torn mouth with sharp razor fangs for teeth; all of it!

I estimated the height of the fucking troll, it's as high as a 20inches wheel. That was how short it was. The fucker was skinny, with a dirty pale white and slimey body with multiple tinge of blood red patches on it, it was hideous!

It just stood there, looking at me and that was all it did. It didn't move, didn't make a sound. It just.. stood there... watching me with a quizzically expression.

I had a sudden urge to grab it, and in a swift movement, somehow my limbs went free. I took a hold of it's hands tightly, not letting it a chance to leave. I tried to wake Derek up to switch on the lights, but he couldn't hear me.

The thing was struggling with me as it tried to pry himself free from my grasp. It's breathing was ragged and rough, I could still remember the sounds of the horrible wheezing and grunts. I looked at it, and it's face showed a sense of fear. That was when I know it was afraid, it was frightened.

I stared at this thing dumbfounded. As I loosen my grip, my hands were still holding onto it's hands as if letting it a choice to be free. Well, of course, the thing backed off from me and walked back to the chair.

Then the fucker stood in front of my bed once again, looking back at me. It slowly turned around, it's back facing towards me. Once again, the stupid fuckhead started pushing the chair and ran like it was doing earlier.

It was like a fucking replay and rewind scene. And what the hell was wrong with it, pushing and running away with my chair?! Motherfucker!

Ok, I'm sorry Manda..

Complexity of the mind, body and.. brains?

In a blink of an eye, who would have thought mid-year has arrived. I definitely did not, but had anticipated it some while back. As the present day, I shall find the time now to reminisce the good ol' days, but define! good ol' days.

I would say, my highschool days are considered the best past-time ever. I wasn't a smart alec as the science geeks, but my passion for art and creative writing has got me where I am today and knowing where I have come from, made me who I am today. But of course, the present will not be present if it wasn't for the past. I take my past as a vivid experience. Highschool was the time that you'd give anything to do everything that you have yet to get done. Here is a list of what I had done with my friends during highschool:

1. Skipped school for several consecutive weeks without getting caught.
2. Likewise for on-going classes.
3. I've tried smoking in F1.
4. Started drinking in F2 with Amanda in the school bus-stop.
5. Played hookey while an event is going on in the school.
6. Slept in classes such as history, maths, art, P.E, science, english, bm, commerce, literature.
7. Stealing stuff.
8. Cat fighting, fist fighting.
9. Boyfriend stealing.
10. Numerous boyfriends.
11. Having beta house sex. (haha) don't believe me.
12. Making teachers hate us, just for the fun of it.
13. Conquered the Leo club, athletic club, cheerleading club, arts and craft, arts and performance.
14. And the list goes on.

Of course, nobody really liked us during that era for we portrayed nothing more than ourselves. We were very much ourselves. That was who we were and who we are! We are still the same people with the same personality and the same name. Only different preferences, but nonetheless, we hang onto each other, we love each other.

I do miss my highschool days. They are worth it all, for if we did not do those ridiculous shenanigans, we wouldn't learn. We had reached to a point of no return in such cases where we took it as a lesson learnt. But still does it anyway and if not for our ever so daring balls *if we have them*, we'd still be stuck in the fantasy world with no tinge of reality. Who would ever believe a fairy tale ending in real life, they'd be stupid. Yes, we can be happy, we can be carefree, but if we do not take care of our hide, nobody will. It's a dog eat dog world out there, every man; or rather every woman, for themselves.

Jakun: A malaysian slang, similar to 'noob'

That we'd be. I believe in being street smart is better than book smart. So what if you've read every single book there is published? You'll never learn it unless you face it head on. That, is learning.

Political views, shouldn't be just liberal. It should be liberal yet justified! Who'd ever thought that we could have our speech freely and had to take responsibilities for it. Preposterous!

However, ignorance is bliss. Period. Defense is an advantage. Always play your cards right, and until then, never put your cards on the table unless you're cinch to win! oh, and modesty always plays a great part on your ass. Never doubt that.

Keep Out Of Reach Of Children

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
The color of the fonts in this post has been adjusted. The post contains high insensitivity exclaims and is not for the weak of hearts. If you have the balls and you wish to continue further, please kindly highlight the fonts after this sentence.

Dear You,

1. I don't give a fuck if you know any high and mighty society of the worlds but if you want to compare contacts with me, bring it on babe! :)

2. I particularly do not care if you were once a sales person, but please, keep that little detail to yourself. The 'Don't be arrogant or you will fail' advice which your ex-boss gave you, was most probably a hidden warning just so you don't fuck up your job when 'dealing' with high society customers that expects you to boot-licking.

3. What I wrote in my blog, if you insist on implying that it is you, be my guest. Tear it down, sue me for defamation, I don't care. What can you do about it? There's not a slight mention of your name in it so if you want to make a fool out of yourself, go ahead.

4. Has anyone ever told you before that if you get affected by an insult, then the insult might probably be true?

5. What made you think the person I was insulting was you? Unless.. it is you?

6. I don't know you, and I wish to keep it at that. I don't want to have anything to do with you, so please, disappear.

7. You are a bitch. Admit it. Because I am jealous that you can be a better bitch and bitch better than me. Seriously. Believe me.

8. Has anyone ever told you, 'What goes around, comes around' ? Well, in this case, if you hadn't bitch about someone in the first place, that particular someone wouldn't bitch about you, am I right?

9. You're not that smart after all. Because smart people won't admit that they are smarter than other people, or brag that they know high society people, or think that they are greater than other people. They'd keep a low profile.

10. I am holier-than-thou. I am religious. I am lame. I am selfish. I am pathetic. I am hot. I am beautiful. I am bitchy. All those petty useless critics but not once had you thought that maybe I just like to mind my own business.. I was in a bad mood for GOD'S SAKE when I did not say hi to you!.. Puh-leeezzzzeee don't hate me!.... Nah, don't believe the last two sentences.. :)

11. I am not the one harassing you, for you are the one venturing into my blog and hopes to seek out any kind of super intelligent confidential details and information that you might stumble upon and use it against me.. OH NOOO!!!!! IT WASN'T ME!!!!

12. Talking about maturity. Don't think that you are much more mature than me because I assure you, I don't wish to be that mature. But I am, unfortunately. *sad face*.. I just like to post bullshit stories in my blog about anyone and anything I wish at anytime I want.

So if you're thinking of coming over to find me and give me a little bashing, or a little cat fight, or perhaps kill me?.. I can't stop you now, can I? So why don't you just be a quiet little girl, sit back and for once, learn to keep your nose out of people's business.

Sincerely,
Me.

I told you not to read it.

The owner of this blog, or the writer of this post is not and will not be responsible for any deaths or conspiracy that is likely to happen to the reader after reading this post. The reader has accepted the warning (above) and has either chose to heed the warning by turning to leave the post or ventured into it. Either way, the reader should accept the consequences which follows through, none whatsoever is relevant to the owner of this blog or the writer of this post. In other words, I DON'T CARE. Fuck you very much for your time.

Death note

A note was addressed to my house today, with my name on it. My mom called me when I was in the office and anxiously told me that there was a note, sent to me by Pos Laju, kindly requesting me to collect my courier item which is with them at the time being.

Now, I found this quite interesting. As I went on home, I had actually forgotten all about the note. It was left on my table, strongly visibly for me to see, but.. I did not noticed it until my mom reminded me.

So I took a look. There it was, my name, my parcel code, the date (as of today) and the location of the post office, I guess. Then, as I looked for more information in the note, for example, who sent it.. I couldn't find any.

That's weird, I thought.

I turned the note upside down, left, right, center and inside out, there is not one statement of whoever the hell sent me this parcel. No wonder my mom was freaked out. She must have thought some sick twisted masochistic sadist sent a parcel with an amputated head of a feral animal in it, without leaving more than puff of breath onto the parcel.

Alright, I hope it is a parcel, and not a pile of magazines or important documents!

I have yet to collect it but when I do..... when I do...

We shall see. I have a darned dang feeling about the sender. Shyte I sound like fucking dyke. Damn it rhymes.

PS: To whoever you are, kindly do not imply that this is you which I am talking about. Any incidents or accidents written in here, is most probably purely coincidental. Unless you're sure it is you, which I don't think you ever will be certain, I advice you to shut the fuck up and do not flame me. BECAUSE I DON'T SEE YOUR NAME IN IT!!!!!.. I hope you seethe in anger. Flush your head down the toilet!!! Go Liverpool!

Traumatic

I have a handful of phobias, below is the list.

Agoraphobic : Is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to his or her home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place."

Scoliodentosaurophobia : Fear of lizards.

Aphenphosmphobia : Fear of being touched.

Atelophobia : Fear of imperfection.

Mysophobia : Fear of dirt and germs.

And the list goes on.

The purpose of this post today, is that I have come across one of the listed phobias above (see italic), which wasn't very much an excitement for me. In fact, it almost gave me a heart attack.

I was roaming around the house one day, with no particular aim of direction. When suddenly, a lizard from above the ceiling fell flat on the floor in front of me with a loud 'splat'. And so I did the only sensible thing to do.




Alright, I wasn't that pathetic, but it was nonetheless close to what you've just seen. Scary shitty lizard!