Impertinence Act

Oh yeah, I am the bitch that nobody likes when I turn on my bitchy mode to the maximum. The reason of the statement? Pretty obvious isn't it? Somehow this person which I'm going to bitch about, must have offended me in some ways, or I wouldn't get riled up this quickly.

I have a friend, MojoJojo, who has been going on and on about being helplessly in love with this girl, Hippo. She has a friend, let's name her Skunk. Well, technically, I do not know who these two girls are and I've only met them once, each. Hippo, I have nothing against her, Skunk, I used to have nothing against her. Hell, I don't even know them enough to have anything against them.

Whenever my friend writes or posts something in his blog, talking about his devoted love for Hippo, I'd comment freely in the post, be it sarcasm or the general truth. You see, people are contradictory; they are unpredictable and I believe stupid most of the times as they do not think through before acting or speaking. And what's worse, some people tend to misunderstand the things that people says easily. Now that really annoys the hell out of me. I mean, go back to a fucking kindergarten, you stupid fuckheads!

Yesterday I was having lunch with MojoJojo. He wanted me to fill in a form for Tiger FC, in regards to be in their club or to win some cockshit prize, I don't give a damn. And he was supposed to meet some girl who was to come and collect the forms from him. As we finsihed our meal, a hand came patting on my head; it was my lecturer, C. He's a really nice guy and he was in the same premise for a meeting of some sort. I was thrilled to see him after so long, I mean, we go waaay back to my highschool days. He was my art teacher, and I was his 'excelling' student. [grins]

C sat down with us and we had a nice chat, but it was cut short as he was supposed to proceed to his appointment. Then as we were still talking, some girl appeared before our table and said her usual greetings, I presumed. She said hi to me, and I, politely smiled back at her, then continued to chat away with C and she continued to chat with MojoJojo. That situation was only right for me to do that simple kind gesture.

Apparently, she was the one who was to collect the forms from MojoJojo, who was also the same girl student that my lecturer was having an appointment with, who happened to be the same girl that are friends with Hippo, who was also the same girl who doesn't like me very much.Wow, such coincidences, and I don't give a flying fuck. I was told that this girl did not really fancy me earlier because of my 'preposterous' comments in MojoJojo's blog about Hippo, who is her best friend. Well, I don't fancy her either.

When night falls, she had a chat with MojoJojo. As I anticipated, she commented upon meeting me the first time. I'd rather say, criticized about the whole damn thing. I wouldn't expect much from her though, presuming the person that she is.

I am not pissed off with the fact that she said I was:

Arrogant : Insolently proud. [source]

I don't deny that fact, because that is what I am when it comes to meeting people that I do not expect myself to come across. In other words, I don't give a damn flying fuck about anyone insignificant to me and I am definitely not the type to be sincerely nice to someone who doesn't fancy me in the first place. Seriously, you may ask anybody out there who has been my friends for at least 3 years and more, that I have been possessing this arrogant act towards people I do not know. Hell, they even experienced it first hand but we are still friends even after all these years and that only means one thing; I am technically a nice person after all. [wide smile]

Being arrogant was not the only thing that she said about me, of course. Now this is where it all started that made me so beyond pissed about. My friend mistakenly told her that I was 23 years old. In actual fact, I will be turning 22 by the end of this year and not too proud of getting older too. Daymn.

Anyhoo, all she could think of was 'she's only a year older only maaaaarrrrr'. I couldn't help but to drop my sweat, anime style. So what if I was really a year older? So what if I choose not to say hi to her, just because I am a year older than her? She probably thought to herself: Who does she think she is?!

Well, she's a year younger than me! So who the fuck does she think she is, that I just have to say hi to her?!

Seriously, just imagine the scene below here. I have a big colgate smile plastered on my face, which is very likely fake, I can assure you that.
Note: please read it in slow motion for better understanding and effect.

"Well, hi there!*waves hand* Oh I know you, *points finger at her* you're the one who thinks that I *points finger back at me* misunderstood your *points back at her*childish, infantile, immature, mentally deprived friend!! *pause with wide eyes for effect* Why, hello there! *smiles* Nice to meet you!! *shakes hand*"

Yea, very likely fake.

God, I just can't tolerate people who think so highly of themselves. Hell, I can't even tolerate my holier-than-thou act sometimes, what makes her think I even bother about what she wants from me? Insolent bitch. *rolls eyes*

She probably thinks I am a fucking bitch as well, could be worse. Well, I'm not denying that fact as I have turned on my unethically bitchy mode today. And I DEFINITELY do NOT deny everything I said in here. So sue me!

Brighter, Cleaner!

After assembling an exhibition banner for my perusal, it made my hand stink of dust and metal. Then I thought, 'might as well clean my messy table.' So I did. After it all, I went to the washroom to clean my hands using the handwash that was provided.

As I was lathering and washing my hands thoroughly, a very distinctive smell emanated under my nose. The scent brought back memories, back to when I was just a toddler. It was apple, I knew that. Because the handwash bottle was written 'Apple' but that's not the point.

Those memories were kind of dear to me as they brought back days when I was just learning how to brush my teeth using the ever-so-popular toothpaste which smells exactly the same as the scent that I smelt.

Kodomo Lion Toothpaste for kids

As I am writing this post, I can still smell the strong aroma that is coming from my hands.

Goodness

A friend of mine on facebook.com tagged me in one of the ever-so-annoying notes, which once you've been tagged, you just gotta *makes faces* do it, but I'd rather do it here. So, here goes.

001. Real Name → Caroline Hoh Private&Confidential
002. Nickname(s)→ Carol, Taikochi, Pokku, Woman, Roll Roll, Carrot, etc
004. Zodiac Sign → Scorpio
005. Male or Female → Female
006. Elementary → Methodist Kindergarten
007. Middle School → Methodist Primary School
008. High School → SMK Assunta
009. College School → TARC (3 months) /PJCAD (3 years)
010. Hair Color → Dark Brown
011. Long or Short → Middle length
012. Loud or Quiet → Both
013. Sweats or Jeans → None
014. Phone or Camera → Phone
015. Health Freak → No
016. Drink or Smoke? → Both
017. Do you have a crush on someone? → Does Vegeta counts?
018. Eat or Drink → Both
019. Piercings → Ear Lobes
020. Tattoos → Nil

FIRSTS :
023. First piercing → ears
024. First best friend(s) → I hate her
025. First award → Olahragawati of MPS
026. First crush → J
027. First pet → Cody, pet terapin. RIP 2004-2008
028. First big vacation → Singapore, age 10
030. First big birthday → Long forgotten

CURRENTLY :
049. Eating → Nothing
050. Drinking → Coffee
052. I'm about to → Sneeze
053. Listening to → Good Charlotte - Emotionless
054. Plans for today → Dota
055. Waiting for → pay check

YOUR FUTURE :
058. Want kids? → yes
059. Want to get married? → yes
060. Careers in mind → a famous writer

WHICH IS BETTER IN THE BOY/GIRL YOU LIKE?
068. Lips or eyes → eyes
070. Shorter or taller? → taller
072. Romantic or spontaneous → both
073. Nice stomach or nice arms → nice arms
074. Sensitive or loud → loud
075. Hook-up or relationship → relationship
076. Trouble maker or hesitant → trouble maker can be fun sometimes

HAVE YOU EVER :
080. Lost glasses/contacts → nope
081. Ran away from home → no
082. Held a gun/knife for self defense → does a blade counts?
083. Killed somebody → no
084. Broken someone's heart → all the time
085. Been arrested → no
087. Cried when someone died → yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN :
089. Yourself → yes
090. Miracles → no. i make my own destiny
091. Love at first sight → no
092. Heaven → not sure
093. Santa Claus → no
094 Tooth Fairy → no
095. Kiss on the first date → if there's chemistry, why not

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → yes
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → somewhat happy
099. Do you believe in God → I guess I do
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 20 people → I won't.

Mindless and unambitious. That's what I am after lunch.

Red Alert!

It is happening again.

I am feeling all the emotions that I normally do not feel. The anxiety to cry, the hate and anger rising like a bile in my throat, the urge to laugh out loud, has all come together. A single twitch could spark it all, and I would break down instantly.

Why oh why, are we to experience this over and over again, every once a month!?

Yea I know it's only natural, 'cause we are made that way. But do we actually have to produce unnecessary mood swings or emotions?

Before I've decided to write this post, I had the sudden urge to cry. I choked on the oncoming sob that I felt coming, then as I am writing this post, I feel the anger of the prepostorous fact, that we women have to go through this shit month after month. It is exasperating!

As I sit behind my cubicle, facing the damn LCD screen, I just want to grab a pen and stab into the damn rectangular thingy that shines into my face. I hate it!

You know what is the most annoying thing of it all?

I have the inspiration and determination and ideas that is driving me to accomplish my designs, and this happens.

PMS sucks. I should warn Derek now.

Death of the soul

I sat alone, trying to recall all the events that took place just earlier. The surroundings were dark and gloomy, cold and wet, I couldn't remember a thing.

As I snapped my head, I saw him. He was walking towards me, slowly, looking deep into my eyes.

'I remember you,' I thought to myself, but I wasn't certain if it really is him. He look like him, he even dress like him, but I know that he is not him.

Dex, he called himself. He came up to me and lifted me up from my seat, giving me a hug. I hugged him back, relunctantly. As he gave me a kiss on my neck, I felt nauseatic. 'This isn't right,' I thought, as I tried to pry myself away from this being. He watched nonchalantly as I stood back a few steps, looking back at me with a quizzically expression.

"What?" he asked with a raised brow. Never breaking eye contact with me, he walked towards me and stood in front of me.

I turned away from him, unable to look into his eyes. Who is this character that looks so much like him? He held my shoulders, bringing me closer to his chest as he hugged me from behind. He kissed the nape of my neck and I could hear him smelling my hair. Listening to him letting out a sigh, he turned me around in his arms and locked me in an arm's length embrace. His eyes burning into mine, forcing his way through my soul.

Tears threatened to flow down my cheeks as I look at him, remembering a memory that seems so far away now. Then, I lost it. I fell onto his chest and hugged him tightly, crying my heart out to him. I could not fathom the emotions that were running through me and as I cried, my thoughts brings me back to Derek. He was dead, I knew that; but how this man who was impersonating Derek could be standing in front of me right at this moment, hugging me and whispering sweet lost words into my ears?

I practically cried my eyes out as my knees weakened and I fell to the ground, hands clutching tightly onto my burning chest.

This Dex, he told me that he was a form of Derek, and his directive and motive here were to take care of me, watching over me; to love me. Just as how Derek has in mortal life.

I shook my head as I watched this being approached me. I cannot possibly believe a word he says. 'Derek is dead!' I screamed inwardly.

"You're not him! You will never be him!"

----

Then my hand phone rang. I picked it up in my sleeping form and answered groggily. It was Derek, calling me at 3.30am in the morning, telling me that he was already safe at home. When we hang up, I lay in bed, looking up at the ceiling. It was all a dream. Just a dream.

But how real the dream was.

Note: I know it's just a dream, and there was nothing funny about it. What I have written above is all true. It is what I saw in my dream, so if you want to laugh at how ridiculous it is or about the death of Derek, hahahaha.. I found it funny too. But I wouldn't laugh out loud. LOL! No, I wouldn't. [serious face]

Gloomy Sunday

Sunday is gloomy
My hours are slumberless
Dearest the shadows
I live with are numberless
Little white flowers
Will never awaken you
Not where the black coach
Of sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought
Of ever returning you
Would they be angry
If I thought of joining you
Gloomy Sunday

Sunday is gloomy
With shadows I spend it all
My heart and I have decided
To end it all
Soon there'll be flowers and prayers
That are said I know
But let them not weep
Let them know
That I'm glad to go
Death is no dream
For in death I'm caressing you
With the last breath of my soul
I'll be blessing you
Gloomy Sunday

Dreaming
I was only dreaming
I wake and I find you asleep
In the deep of my heart, dear
Darling, I hope
That my dream never haunted you
My heart is telling you
How much I wanted you
Gloomy Sunday

'Gloomy Sunday' was a song composed by a Hungarian pianist and composer which goes by the name of Rezső Seress. The freaky thing of this song is that, it was dubbed the "Hungarian suicide song" as many deaths has occurred in the presence of this song playing on the radio or the lyrics next to the deceased. You may read more of it here.

Scary? Probably not. This song has been sang by many famous singers such as Sarah Brightman, and Sarah McLachlan. When I first learned of this song, I was browsing and exploiting this website filled with unexplained mysteries. This song was in the list of the unexplained mysteries of the world.

It sounds uncanny; unbelievable, but all these websites, famous researchers, professors has all said that this song is a depressing one. It has the melody which is filled with so much sorrow in it, it sets the listener on a depressive mood.

After learning the existence of this song and the suicidal cases that follows with it, I was curious as to want to know how sorrowful and depressing it sounds like. I was hesitant at first when I downloaded the song. Being paranoid of listening to it after all the things which I have read, I played it several hours later after the download.

That all happened in March 2009. Now, I admit that I am somewhat addicted to the song. I'd listen to it whenever I feel like choosing a song to listen. When I first listened to it, I 'd keep picturing myself dying because of this damn song. All sorts of ways to commit suicide flashed in front of my eyes. Or rather I would imagine losing Derek and the situation I'd be in when I grieve for him.

It was unusually heart-wrenching though. But I got over it as I kept reminding myself that it is just a song. Just a damn song which was created by some miserable Hungarian dude who was heart-broken for the loss of his love life. *Actually his girlfriend dumped him because he was a failure as a pianist and a composer.*

Now, whenever I listen to it, instead of feeling grief and depress, I find the song quite beautiful and soothing. The lyrics were so beautifully carved. Not so gloomy after all.

No Biggie

Since this is my personal blog, I claim every post in here private and confidential and absolutely very very fucking original. I practised fucking free speech in every god damned post and I am not going to stop practising it. Cus it makes blogging more fun, ain't it?

Anyway, today in this post, I will announce several things which I had in mind for the past month:
(starts from least important to the big bomb news)

1. I still love my baby who's just two months old. I've still yet to name him. Click here to look at him.

2. I have started my creative writing once again (freestyle) and have been publishing it online for readers to read and review. *I don't get money out of this but I love the feel of a good review!*

3. What the hell to do for my 4th year anniversary? *clueless* Any idea guys?? Help me out here pls.

4. I put on weight and am still short as ever. *sadness*

5. I can't shop till I drop with my measly salary.

6. I'm still deeply in love with Vegeta. >.<.

7. and Derek, too! ^^

8. I have finally decided to quit my job!

There! There is the Big Bomb news right there. Now don't get me wrong. I love my job. I really, truly love my job. Even when I move on to my next job, I assure you it will be the same scope. But definitely, definitely.... a different and better environment.

All I've got to say is that the management in Company X, sucks. 'They ain't got no professionalism quailities, yo!'

I can't tolerate the people there, I can't accept the fact that mostly everyone there is fucking incompetent in general issues, such as, delivering what you promised? C'mon man, if you can't do it, say you can't fucking do it, or else just shaddup.

There is a famous chinese proverb that just says it all though. If only I could find the right words to translate it into english. Hmmmm... *thinking hard*

Fine, whatever. I can't think of it but let me translate it directly. *this is gonna be fun*

'Mou kam tai ge tau, mou tai kam tai ge mou.'

Ok if you realise, there are several 'mou's' in that sentence. It has separate meanings though. Allow me to explain.

What you have just read in italic means:

'dun have so big a head, dun wear so big a hat.'

There! Direct translation rawks!

Pokku Advertising Inc.

A little imagination running wild wouldn't kill, now would it?

Of course not!

Now, what I have in mind, is to form an advertising company with my close friend Sha Sha. Because we are both fumed with all the workload shits and the unethical nonsense we sire unintentionally from certain authorities, we had up till here! (wherever your 'up till here' makes you happy).

So, first we would have to come up with a name for our company. I had a few choices in mind, though I've only told Sha one.

- Pokku Advertising Inc.
- Mad Designers Co.
- What the Design Advertising
- SoHighs Advertising Co.

Basically I've only listed four. Lazy to think though. Ok, this is how I want to improvise on it.

- a bottomless Coke fountain dispenser for Sha.
- a Bailey's fountain dispenser for me, with an additional pipe for whipped cream and cherries.
- a pool table for me.
- 2 high graphic computer, specifically for game playing.
- 2 Wii.
- a set of PS2.
- 2 PSP.
- a 150 inch Plasma TV, manufactured by Panasonic.
- a roomfull of semi naked hunkies, Hugh Jackman look alikes, separated with a one way mirror.
- (readers are able to give some ideas)

A job well done, if I do say so myself.

Let me lego you back

I am feeling very tension right now. Many things are spinning in my head all at once, I do not know which one to think first. Therefore, causing the tensity in my demeanour volatile. All this pressure is getting into my head. I will be, what do you say that.. that word where you are about to get yelled at by your boss for something that you didn't do, which in fact, is going to be my fault anyhow...

Screwed!

Yes. I will be screwed. So, I told Derek about it. And he tried to console, confort, calm me with his ever so sweet-coated mouth, spewing sickly sweetening words into my ears.

Derek : So, your boss scold you edi?

Me : -.-" ...No

Derek : Don't worry baby, everything will be fine.

Me : Baby, I'm so tensed. I'm breaking apart! [whine whine whine]

Derek : Don't sad baby. I will lego you back.

Me : Huh? Lego me back? What?

Alright, what he meant here was that he will build me back when I fall apart. Aww that was so sweet of him. -.-"

So his terms of usage of the language was to 'Lego' me back, meaning stick me back together because I said I was breaking apart.

Such a creative little sweetheart I have, neh?