I have no idea how many relationship breakups are there in a year, less be it a week. But I know that everyday, there are partners out there who have finally decided to end it all. But it also isn't everyday that you hear your closest buddies going through it either. So each time I hear a friend of mine has ended their love life, I'd try to turn on my understanding mode. Though I do not agree in crying, sulking, whining, complaining, desperately upset over the matter, I'd try to console them the best I can.
I admit I have been through several breakups of my own. Most of them unpleasant, obviously. It surely is hard to stay as friends with some of them. Whilst some are just dandy. Hearing a close friend of mine going through the breakup has brought up many ghosts of my past. Some which I tend not to remember, and some which I can never forget as it is already engraved somewhere in the depths of my mind and heart.
All I know is that I have to be stronger and tell myself that no one can hurt me, regardless. I have not love someone the way I used to anymore. I care.. I do.. but it isn't just the same as love. I tend to lose the understanding of love ever since I can remember. I have become as hard as a rock, as cold as a stone. And because of that, I have not trusted anyone in this matter, not even myself. But I guess it is partially my fault for bringing myself possible pain, since I especially am more attracted to bad boys. Yes, they are exciting and exhilirating. They take my breath away, literally. What's more, they're deeply intriguing. They slice my senses and brings my body and spirit to flames. *not in an intimate way.. don't so corrupted, please*
And then, the next I'd remember was waking up alone in my bed, trying to forget the pain that he has brought me by finally leaving. Letting the ghastly fact haunt my very soul. I had no other choice other than to let it all go and move on with life as though it has never happened. Believe me when I said I am already immuned to it all. As every bad relationship turned into a good lesson. And I had to learnt it the hard way. Of course, it isn't my first lesson, it will definitely not my last.
And I am contented. Right this moment. I am not alone. Thanks to Derek.
I admit I have been through several breakups of my own. Most of them unpleasant, obviously. It surely is hard to stay as friends with some of them. Whilst some are just dandy. Hearing a close friend of mine going through the breakup has brought up many ghosts of my past. Some which I tend not to remember, and some which I can never forget as it is already engraved somewhere in the depths of my mind and heart.
All I know is that I have to be stronger and tell myself that no one can hurt me, regardless. I have not love someone the way I used to anymore. I care.. I do.. but it isn't just the same as love. I tend to lose the understanding of love ever since I can remember. I have become as hard as a rock, as cold as a stone. And because of that, I have not trusted anyone in this matter, not even myself. But I guess it is partially my fault for bringing myself possible pain, since I especially am more attracted to bad boys. Yes, they are exciting and exhilirating. They take my breath away, literally. What's more, they're deeply intriguing. They slice my senses and brings my body and spirit to flames. *not in an intimate way.. don't so corrupted, please*
And then, the next I'd remember was waking up alone in my bed, trying to forget the pain that he has brought me by finally leaving. Letting the ghastly fact haunt my very soul. I had no other choice other than to let it all go and move on with life as though it has never happened. Believe me when I said I am already immuned to it all. As every bad relationship turned into a good lesson. And I had to learnt it the hard way. Of course, it isn't my first lesson, it will definitely not my last.
And I am contented. Right this moment. I am not alone. Thanks to Derek.
