sigh...

"When love and hate collide"

by Def Leppard....it suits me just fine... and how much I hate that fact... So pathetic.... unappreciated and down in the dumps... humiliated and framed... speechless and made a fool of myself... Clueless and hurting, right to the core... Moodless and dead... aimless and unmotivated.. no determination nor the energy.... *long sighhhh*

-weeperz-

a peice of advice

A piece of advice to that jerk.... the same piece of advice you have so proudly posted,

"What goes around, comes around"

if only you'd understand... =(

If only you knew what I have gone through that time... You wouldn't know how hard it is for me to accept something like that... All my years of living I have tried to keep out of trouble.. Keep away from being talked about, but somehow, I still end up being talked about... Why?.. because I was 'anti-social'... No... I just try to keep away from company that would result me to trouble.. and true enough, the people that has brought me trouble still comes from that side of friends... If only you'd understand what pain I went through to be able to live as normal until you brought it back to my life... I really need someone to talk to about this but I can't even turn to you... My sanity and emotions have been abused too badly I have lost the highest of my confidence and pride... I just can't accept the fact that you disbelieve in me... I feel so alone and hurt deep inside.. and nothing can actually bring me back up except for you... but you were not even there to wipe off my tears... not event there to hold my hands... till today I feel the fear to turn to you as you are the only one I can talk to... other people can't really understand... but even you... turn away from when I needed you most... Only you were to understand if only you would....
Somebody stabbed my heart and left it ripped and you did not do anything about it... maybe I am not that important to you at all... I may know you for only 2 years... But I believe I am closer to you than anybody.... I believe I know the real you more than anybody count together... It is just so unfair that I have to suffer this grief that monster has left me... It is just so unfair.... Why has this laid upon me...?.. what have I done to that.. that MONSTER??!!!....?...

Ripped me apart from my sanity and pulled down my confidence and depraved of my pride... I have been beaten like a wounded wolf, licking it's wounds alone in the dark, whimpering away with pain...

You expect me to let it go... but how can I??.. when that person is ALWAYS around??... and that you'd want him around..... and that telling me how important he is to you.... how can I let it go????!!!??....

Can't you see the connections???... WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THE CONNECTIONS????......
why can't you see them....... =(.. why...... why baby... why...??....

......

I am officially on HOLIDAY!!!!... yay... but it doesn't make any difference though since I still have to go college to complete my unfinished assignments to hand it once class restarts.... *bummer*

Went for paint ball this morning... it was fun.... and tiring cuz I only slept for 3 hours before that... It was super exhausting... *blehhh*....

Now I'm having a terrible headache and tummy ache and really really need to sleep.... so g nite..


oh...

PS: Pat is ..... indescribable.. in paint ball..... wakakakka