" You leave me speechless ".....
- weeperz -
Monday, 28 May 2007
Thursday, 24 May 2007
untitled
Man, I can't wait for June to arrive.. Finally, a long rest... what bliss.... Haven't had much of a decent rest since college started in Jan... It has been a long and tired phase that I've gone through... Pressure at college... Lecturers who tries to mother us... (which I totally disagree)... kinda breaks my fire, soul and spirit you know.... Anyway... Think I will be heading back to sleep... I have this massive headache since last night... adios
Monday, 21 May 2007
untitled
My god brother... oh-so-adorable... he told me to buy him glofish and fighting fish for him today... saying that he has no money and that he can't buy them and that I have, so it means I could buy them for him... ahaks*...
A 5 year old kid.. but knows that the fishes are expensive... *tahu pun*... We were in the Ikano safari pet shop... he was amazed by all the fishes in the tank.. especially this particular popular fish that lived by the reefs.. the clown fish where by every kid in town calls it 'Nemo'... and yes, my god brother loves fishes... Even his chinese name compliments fishes... 'Wei Yu'
Anyway, he ran away with tears when he saw a dog approaching him.. haha.. poor guy...
what do you think?
Does hidden information that has been told affects the society... or is it best kept hidden?...
I asked this question so that hopefully someone would answer me with a more reasonable explanation... An answer that would convince me to believing why I shouldn't prejudice against this college mate of mine, T....
Well you see, in my class, there are few who I mix with... and they're who I'm close with... Very close... J and P, let's call em.. Recently, not long ago, J got herself a boyfriend, who was also my classmate, K... Now K has this close friend, who is also my classmate, T... (now you see how it all links)
K's birthday was last month, and J had a surprise birthday party in stored for him... So she called everyone, including T, obviously... (duh!)... (oh by the way, T is a foreigner from Bangladesh)
Anyway, T doesn't seem to understand the lifestyle that we live here... but a surprise party??... that's so common... but still he didn't understand a thing about it because the next day, after the party, he called K and asked him why didn't K invite him personally...
Fuck I was dumbstruck by his question... I mean, 'DUH!.. it's a fucking surprise party... the birthday kid DOES NOT know a shit'....
Ok, it doesn't stop here... He was so flickered and 'upset' about it, he told one of our lecturers, who appears to be quite blabber mouthed.. the lecturer might call it, 'concern', but I don't think that's what it is.. Anyway, it spread across the college faculty and now, obviously the story has been awfully distorted and twisted, it has become a serious case for my group here...
It appears that the issue the faculty have here is why K/J's academic has been sliding abruptly and who has influenced them to drop so drastically...
PS: I smell A&W!!!.... omg I'm hungry... ok back to the story...
So, my name appeared on the list... Noting that I have been influencing J to smoke, and club and party... Whereby it was NOT true.... she did it to me, yea Jas???... *snickers*snort*chuckle*cough cough*
And that K is always getting drunk and the usual Blahs with a capital B... I was sent to the highest office to be consulted about my 'academic' and my personal life... My academic is fine, it's slow but it's on track... So why should I be sent to that level of consultation??... it doesn't make any sense as the whole time she was talking about smoking!... That was so hilarious... I told the her (the principals' assistant, V) that I shouldn't even be sent there, and what I do, outside of college, other than my academic, it has absolutely, non what so ever, nothing to do with the college... and so she told me '... what you do outside will eventually comes back to the college... you want people to perceive this image of you... smoke smoke smoke smoke.......'
That was all I ever heard... she has absolutely no right to poke her nose into my personal life.. Any criticism about my academic, I will accept entirely, if it is true... because I know myself better... but my personal life... and what I do outside???... that's ridiculous...!... I can't tolerate people who tells me what to do, what I can and can't do... it's insane cuz no one tells me how to live my life...
After coming out from that office, I consulted this lecturer, and told her all my dissatisfaction.. I couldn't tolerate ridiculed situations, and especially why T was so naive and why did he do things that would affect so many people...
The next 2 days, I did not spoke to T... I did confronted him, asking why did he do it.... At first he told me, that he knew who did it, but refuse to tell me who... I insisted that he tell but minutes later he told me that he don't know... I told myself, 'Enough... this is useless... and fuck you'......
Next 2 days, I didn't speak to him at all.. Not one word or greeting... but then, back to my question...
Does hidden information that has been told affects the society... or is it best kept hidden?...
Help convince me why I shouldn't be angry with T...
I asked this question so that hopefully someone would answer me with a more reasonable explanation... An answer that would convince me to believing why I shouldn't prejudice against this college mate of mine, T....
Well you see, in my class, there are few who I mix with... and they're who I'm close with... Very close... J and P, let's call em.. Recently, not long ago, J got herself a boyfriend, who was also my classmate, K... Now K has this close friend, who is also my classmate, T... (now you see how it all links)
K's birthday was last month, and J had a surprise birthday party in stored for him... So she called everyone, including T, obviously... (duh!)... (oh by the way, T is a foreigner from Bangladesh)
Anyway, T doesn't seem to understand the lifestyle that we live here... but a surprise party??... that's so common... but still he didn't understand a thing about it because the next day, after the party, he called K and asked him why didn't K invite him personally...
Fuck I was dumbstruck by his question... I mean, 'DUH!.. it's a fucking surprise party... the birthday kid DOES NOT know a shit'....
Ok, it doesn't stop here... He was so flickered and 'upset' about it, he told one of our lecturers, who appears to be quite blabber mouthed.. the lecturer might call it, 'concern', but I don't think that's what it is.. Anyway, it spread across the college faculty and now, obviously the story has been awfully distorted and twisted, it has become a serious case for my group here...
It appears that the issue the faculty have here is why K/J's academic has been sliding abruptly and who has influenced them to drop so drastically...
PS: I smell A&W!!!.... omg I'm hungry... ok back to the story...
So, my name appeared on the list... Noting that I have been influencing J to smoke, and club and party... Whereby it was NOT true.... she did it to me, yea Jas???... *snickers*snort*chuckle*cough cough*
And that K is always getting drunk and the usual Blahs with a capital B... I was sent to the highest office to be consulted about my 'academic' and my personal life... My academic is fine, it's slow but it's on track... So why should I be sent to that level of consultation??... it doesn't make any sense as the whole time she was talking about smoking!... That was so hilarious... I told the her (the principals' assistant, V) that I shouldn't even be sent there, and what I do, outside of college, other than my academic, it has absolutely, non what so ever, nothing to do with the college... and so she told me '... what you do outside will eventually comes back to the college... you want people to perceive this image of you... smoke smoke smoke smoke.......'
That was all I ever heard... she has absolutely no right to poke her nose into my personal life.. Any criticism about my academic, I will accept entirely, if it is true... because I know myself better... but my personal life... and what I do outside???... that's ridiculous...!... I can't tolerate people who tells me what to do, what I can and can't do... it's insane cuz no one tells me how to live my life...
After coming out from that office, I consulted this lecturer, and told her all my dissatisfaction.. I couldn't tolerate ridiculed situations, and especially why T was so naive and why did he do things that would affect so many people...
The next 2 days, I did not spoke to T... I did confronted him, asking why did he do it.... At first he told me, that he knew who did it, but refuse to tell me who... I insisted that he tell but minutes later he told me that he don't know... I told myself, 'Enough... this is useless... and fuck you'......
Next 2 days, I didn't speak to him at all.. Not one word or greeting... but then, back to my question...
Does hidden information that has been told affects the society... or is it best kept hidden?...
Help convince me why I shouldn't be angry with T...
Wednesday, 2 May 2007
my antidote....
Yesterday night was depressing... I went to Mid Valley with Jas and then to Derek's house after that... All of a sudden in a very uncertain hour, I seep into depression... Just like that... The whole time I was sighing and could hardly breathe.. There were so many weird questions popping up in my mind... Questions that I myself could never answer them.. In fact, I don't think anyone could...
For one whole day I felt that I lost my sanity... Just feeling a bit gawky, strange, weird, ballistic, berserk, mad, crazy, psycho, super-stress, fucking depressed...
I needed a hug so desperately, but no one gave me one and I did not turn to anyone... I was asked what was wrong and to take a walk and deep breathes... but the only result was me crying everything out.. It was the thoughts that were in my mind... Thoughts about my future, bout my present, bout my past... It was excruciating.. It was, painful....
I just cried it all out... No one felt my pain, no one would ever understand... The depression got to me so badly, I just moped around the whole fucking day... Stared into empty space, sighing to myself and kept thinking to myself..... All I knew was, I need to cry out....
It was hurting so much inside... somehow I just wanna get out... kept looking back and forth, left and right, into Derek's eyes... but still, I couldn't find peace... I couldn't find a way out... For that day itself, I feel so unloved, so unappreciated, so lost, so.... hollow inside....
But then the next day, it was all okay... my depression was somehow gone, and then I regain my spirit... I was partially dead inside me so, yea, I revived again the next day I woke up..... To my own assumption, I think I needed something to make me happy... and seeing my god-brother made my day.. ^_^..... *cutest creature ever came into my life*....
For one whole day I felt that I lost my sanity... Just feeling a bit gawky, strange, weird, ballistic, berserk, mad, crazy, psycho, super-stress, fucking depressed...
I needed a hug so desperately, but no one gave me one and I did not turn to anyone... I was asked what was wrong and to take a walk and deep breathes... but the only result was me crying everything out.. It was the thoughts that were in my mind... Thoughts about my future, bout my present, bout my past... It was excruciating.. It was, painful....
I just cried it all out... No one felt my pain, no one would ever understand... The depression got to me so badly, I just moped around the whole fucking day... Stared into empty space, sighing to myself and kept thinking to myself..... All I knew was, I need to cry out....
It was hurting so much inside... somehow I just wanna get out... kept looking back and forth, left and right, into Derek's eyes... but still, I couldn't find peace... I couldn't find a way out... For that day itself, I feel so unloved, so unappreciated, so lost, so.... hollow inside....
But then the next day, it was all okay... my depression was somehow gone, and then I regain my spirit... I was partially dead inside me so, yea, I revived again the next day I woke up..... To my own assumption, I think I needed something to make me happy... and seeing my god-brother made my day.. ^_^..... *cutest creature ever came into my life*....
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